Growing up

This seems like a silly title for this post... 

but when your 8 year old starts putting together things like this, and does it all by himself with no help, getting frustrated when things don't go the way he wants them to, causing a reaction just like his Dad would have... it makes you realize just how fast he is growing up!!! 

Time out for Women

March 21-22, 2014

This year was the first time I have attended Time Out for Women. It was such a great few days spend with my Mom and Sisters. I was able to hears many speakers that spoke to my heart many things I needed to hear.

We don't do nearly enough together because LIFE sometimes gets in the way. There are always so many things to accomplish, and so many directions we are being pulled in, that sometimes the important things have to sit on the back burner until you MAKE time for them. I am so glad that we were able to spend these days together. 

The theme for the conference was:

The scripture that went along with it was 1Timothy 4:14-15 (paraphrased) "Neglect not the gift that is in thee. Mediate upon these things. Give thyself wholly to them."

My notes are all over the place, but I do have some great things written down that I will try and make heads or tails of. They might still come across as chicken scratches, but that will have to work!

The first speaker Friday night was Emily Freeman. She started out by telling a story about a skunk. I might get some of the details of her story wrong, sorry! Her son was born with sleep apnea, and had to be connected to a monitor to sleep so it would alert them if he stopped breathing.  Anyway, she was on her way him with her son, and her Dad. There was a strong skunk smell when they pulled into the drive. When she got out of the car, with car seat, diaper bag, and sleep apnea monitor all hanging off of one arm or another,  she hear a rustling in the bushes, and stopped dead in her tracks. She frozenly whimpered to her dad "The skunk is behind me!" He carefully walked around the car and in one fast motion took the carseat from her and started running! In the commotion she started running to. She said she could hear that dang skunk scratching behind her, and chasing her... after a few blocks of running from this skunk that was certainly chasing her, the thought came "Do skunks chase humans?" When she reached a street light that was illuminating the street she stopped to look behind her. What had been causing the scratching noise that she was certain was the skunk, happened to be the dangling cord from the sleep apnea machine!!! 

After we all stopped laughing, she went on to talk about the illuminating light in darkness. She gave some great insight on how we need to stop as see what is in the light, and not let the darkness scare us from what is really there. 

She said that we need to live "Not out of necessity," but to do things because it is your way of living, and not because you feel like you have to.  So many times I think we do things for completely the wrong reasons. This is not the way our Heavenly Fathers wanted us to complete or fulfill our lives.

She said: "Honor the good samaritan not only for what he did do, but also, for what he didn't."

Also: "When a call for help comes, can the Lord count on me? Have the confidence he needs in me?"

She showed a picture of an old violin. (This is not her picture, but one I found on google)

She talked about this old violin, and asked if it could be played the way it sits? The strings were broken, as was the bridge. The tuners could no long tighten the strings even if they were replaced. So it couldn't be tuned. She said "If you can't tune an instrument, it really doesn't matter if it is an instrument at all, because you can't play it." You have to be in tune. I loved this. I am an instrument, but am I able to be tuned?  

I wrote down: "Smooth the road, sometimes that is all that you can do." 

She told a story of a friend of hers who is not LDS. She said "I don't know Jesus Christ, but sometimes I see him in you!" What an incredible compliment. Live a life so that people who don't know him, will see him in you!

I wrote down this quote: "I thought you were for us, but maybe we were for you." She said this talking about 2 boys that she took into her home. She showed a family picture of her and her husband and kids and she said that 2 of them came by birth, and 2 by love! I liked the way she said that. 

In between speakers Justin Cash sang. He was good! I liked his music. But I LOVED this song:

I can't figure out how to upload the you tube video... grrrr....  It is called "God Only Made One of You" by Justin Cash. 

Next speaker was Heidi Swinton. I was out of paper, so my notes weren't as great for her talk. :( But she talked bout having a lamp. What good is a lamp if there is no oil in it. We have to have oil for our lamps or they are not useful, and will not give off any light! 

On Saturday... Mercy River was there. They were fun to listen to and sang some great songs, and gave some great insight to things. They seem like great women!

Chris Williams was the 1st speaker for the morning. I had not heard his story before, but was in tears instantly.

On Feb 9th, 2007 my family was hit by a drunk teenage driver killing my wife who was 6 months pregnant, my son Benjamin 11 and my daughter Anna 9. My son Sam 6 and I survived the crash. My oldest son Michael 14 was not with us in the car. Immediately after the impact, I was conscious and able to move enough to check for a pulse on my motionless wife. There was no pulse. I strained to look into the back seat to see my son and daughter sitting by each other, also motionless. I knew immediately in my heart that they had died instantly. Amidst my cries of anguish for my wife and children that I had lost as I waited for medical personnel, I looked through the driver’s side window at the car that had struck us. I didn’t know who had hit us, or why they had crossed the median striking our vehicle. The Savior taught the importance of love, gratitude and forgiveness, and now in my moment of extreme trial as I grieved for my wife and children, I could only think to do that which he would have done and I completely and without reservation forgave whoever had struck our vehicle. I don’t think it is coincidence that as soon as I had made that decision in my mind, I heard my son Sam cry out from the back seat. I now see more clearly why the Savior exemplified and taught forgiveness. I have felt strength beyond my own as I have sought to cope with this tragedy. That forgiveness has allowed me to understand that I am not strong enough to be angry and to heal at the same time or question why and also move forward with hope. In my weakness through the grace of my Savior, I have found strength. Forgiveness has filled me with such gratitude for my dear wife, and my children. I know the healing road ahead for my family is a long one, yet having forgiven I know the journey will be filled with gratitude and love, and that in those wonderful emotions my wife and I and all our children will live on.                         -Mormon.org

His story is incredible, but how he chose to deal with it is astonishing.  A trial like this could make a person so bitter and hateful. 

I don't know very many people who take a tragedy and can handle it and learn from it like Chris Williams has. He is a real example of Faith. 

I'm sure it didn't come without being anger, but he didn't let it consume his heart. He said that "I committed to let it go at the scene of the accident." He said the spirit changed it immediately. He asked "Are the blinders on?" and teaches that this will take you on a downhill spiral (a pity party for one). If and when the Spirit leave you will feel like this. With the Spirit you feel gratitude and glad for all you had. It helps you maintain hope and perspective. He said "Don't look down, look up, and let it go!"

Mercy River shared this quote: after talking about motherhood. 

It really struck me. I might not be the best mom in some areas of parenting, but I am what my kids need. I just need to be the best me that I can be, so that is what they see. I need them to get the best of me, not what is left at the end of a day when I am tired, and my patience is paper thin! 

A quote: "Build up your Faith before it is tested."  Such insight!!!

Merrilee Boyack was next. She started by introducing herself a little, and told us she had 4 boys. She had a bunch of flowers for each boy. Each different... roses, chrysanthemums,peonies, and tulips...  She was talking about how her 1st born, the rose, was just like her... loved to read, loved to play the piano, very motivated, she went on and on. Oh how she loved him. Then her second son, was VERY much different. She loved him to, but wanted him to do things like her 1st born.  She had those red roses, and the yellow chrysanthemums and said "You will love to read" and was jamming the red rose into the yellow chrysanthemums... as much as she shoved and jammed and tried to changed that chrysanthemum into a rose, it will always be a rose!!!!!!!!! I LOVED that! I LOVED the visual aspect of this. 

She went on to ask "What is special about you? What do you like about you? What gifts do you bring to your family?"  Here are some quotes that I wrote down from her talk.

-Explore new gifts and talents, and develop new gifts.

-Hold their hands-I will be right here while you face this.

-Courage to perservere

-Try new things, but learn to quit if it doesn't make you happy. 

-Teach them to take risks, that is is awesome to look silly. Encourage growth, and celebrate their journey. 

-If you feel flowers poison they will die. If you feed them water, they will grow. Our lives have meaning. Help them know who they are and what they are capable of. 

-Teach them that their future and potential is limitless!

Next speaker was Rober Millet-Grace Works

If I got nothing more from his talk, I am grateful for this quote:

"Sometimes you cannot give back what you have taken because you don't have it to give. If you have caused others to suffer unbearably-defiled someone's virtue, for example- it is not within your power to give it back... 

If you cannot undo what you have done, you are trapped. It is easy to understand how helpless and hopeless you then feel and why you might want to give up...

Restoring what you cannot restore, healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and you cannot fix is the very purpose of the Atonement of Christ. 

When your desire is firm and you are willing to pay 'the uttermost farthing,' the law of recitation is suspended. Your obligation is transferred to the Lord. He will settle your accounts." 

-Boyd K. Packer

Mercy is not getting what you deserve, and Grace is getting what you didn't deserve!

Then there was Tamu and Zandra

They taught us about SASS

S: Search for the Lord

A: Act on the Atonement

S: Savor his blessings

S: Share your unique gifts

-You have to be prepared, and do your part when you ask for help

-Trials pearler you IF you do your part. If you don't they will only be trials

-You have a unique gift, and not only is it enough it is exactly what it needs to be. 

Mercy River spoke and sang again. They sang this song by Matthew West, "Reason for the World"

The last speaker was Emily Watts: The light at the end of the Mom Tunnel

Do you live life in fragments- pieces everywhere, none feel adequate for where they need to be>

#1: Recognize it won't be this way forever.

• The good parts don't always last eighteen. They go away to.
• The bad moves on, and so does the good
• Though I suffered then, I am grateful there wasn't a simple solution
• Mana Plan... we just get enough to get through the day. If we can't do it all at once, just do 1 thing! Remember why you're doing what you do. 
• NOTION: Doing what you don't love doing to enjoy what you love (example: cleaning house)
• Work towards making YES your default. SO many times we have to say no. With kids we say no a lot... we have to direct and teach. When you know who you are and what we should be doing you don't have to hear NO all the time.  (She had a fantastic example, and I can't remember it.... but make yes your default. Not no)
• Set Standards "Mom, my friends are sneaking out, can I pretend to sneak out with them?" Give them standards so when you do say no they understand why. Start with a Yes, let them demonstrate that they can maintain that level of trust. 
• When you make a mistake you start over. That's why it's called an accident. Teach them that they can come back from a mistake.
• Say yes- You can do this- You can stay with this. Positive!
• Work on questions as much as you work on answers. Teaching is more effective if you teach with a question. You will be surprised with how much the answers will mean when you have to search for the answer. You find strength greater then your own.  
• Try not to answer every question, but try to always know where to search for the answer. 
• The light at the 'end of the tunnel' is the light we take with us. There is no end of the tunnel in this life!

I know these are basically chicken scratches, but they all struck a cord in my heart in one way or another. I am grateful for the spiritual uplift that I got. And more than anything I am grateful to have been sitting and sharing this experience with these 4. 

Missed

This last year has been hard at times. It hasn't gone without it's trials. Most of which were self inflicted, and full of regret.  But, during all of this, there have been LOTS of wonderful moments, moments I do not want to forget, and moments that I wish so badly were posted on this blog. I have missed blogging. I have missed writing down my feelings, and I have missed capturing the SPECTACULAR yet SIMPLE moments we live. The moments I want to look back on as the best memories together. So, I am going to start today. There will be post I am sure that will be out of order (I have to not let this bug me :)...) There will be post that seem insignificant to many, but I don't blog for that, I blog for me. I blog for Bridger, Addisyn, and Cooper. I blog for my husband, and I use this blog as a journal. I do get personal. I do get real. This is our life. We are trying to make the best of every day we have together.  I love the quote:

Somedays I fail at this. Some days I let everything else that "has" to be done get in the way of enjoying a little moment. Jessica gave me a quote a few years ago for Mother's Day that says this:

I wish I could be the perfect person everyday, but I can't. I say things I don't mean. I yell when I am angry. I do things I regret. I make the insignificant important to me. 

But, I do love with my whole heart. I do try. I do pray to be better... I am a work in progress!