The Park Family: December 2009

Dec 5, 2009

There growing up…

It is hard to believe that this was just 2 1/2 years ago…

…look at them now. Isn’t it just crazy? My babies are getting so big. Look at Bridger-What a handsome young man he is growing into. And little Addi…well just look at her! The kids stayed at my moms for a few days after Cooper was born, and it is amazing how BIG they were when they came home. They grew up overnight. It just amazes me. From something big like how they talk to something little like how big there eyes looked to me…I know that is so dumb…but they did! I love it though. Every single minuet of my life right now is completely amazing!

Side by Side…

Bridger Lee…

Addisyn Sage…

Cooper Kenneth…

I just can’t decide who I think Cooper looks like. There are some pictures that he looks a whole lot like Addi did. Then I look at him and see Bridge in him…I just don’t know. Yesterday and today though he just looks like Coop.

Week one…

Today marks the one week mark with Cooper. I haven’t had the time to sit and do some scrapbook layouts yet, but I wanted to document each day of his life so far (or at least show how he has changed over the last week in pictures)

November 28, 2009

November 29, 2009

November 30, 2009

December 1, 2009

December 2, 2009

December 3, 2009

December 4, 2009

December 5, 2009

He is such a good little boy! It is just crazy to think that it has already been a week. I know that doesn’t seem like long…but it goes by so fast! I do just wish I could put him in a bubble and stop time!!! I love the newborn stage, I love everything about having a newborn in a home. There is just something Heavenly about it. A little piece of Heaven I get to hold in my arms. He is a perfect little angel and we are so blessed that he is ours!

Time goes so fast…

Warning: This will be real personal and probably full of emotion. I know this is probably not the proper way to write down my feelings with the whole world to be able to read it, but I don’t want to forget this moment and the way I feel. This is my journal…read if you want!

I really can’t believe that it has been a week since I had Cooper. Time really does fly by so fast, especially after you bring a little piece of Heaven home. I wish that I could stop time for a little while and take in everything the moment has to offer. As I sit at this computer the tears flow real easy and my heart feels like it is going to burst at any moment. I feel like the luckiest mother alive. I have 3 amazing kids that bless me far more then I could ever bless them. As I hold Cooper on my lap and stare down at his face…his perfect little miracle face I am just overwhelmed with emotion. Emotion that can only come when you have the opportunity to hold a new baby in your arms. To feel of the love of our Father in Heaven so close that you can touch it and hold it and feel of the specialness of it. I can’t help but ask “why” was I the lucky chosen one to receive this little angel. “why” was it me that gets to be his mother. I have so many downfalls that to receive such a blessing and miracle is just something that seems unfathomable. Today I am truly blessed and grateful for my family, my husband whom I think is amazing, and Bridger, Addisyn and Cooper who are my everything. It is just Cooper and I home right now, Jason and the kids went to little Kaybrees Blessing and so my mind gets to wonder uninterrupted. I get to ponder on my blessings. To really think about all the wonderful things that I have in my life. To know how truly blessed I am. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally and is willing to look past all my many downfalls to continue loving me no matter what. I think that is hard to find and I am grateful to have him. He is continually working and trying to make things better for us. His heart couldn’t get any bigger. It is his family that is most important to him and he lets us know that. He is amazing and I am lucky. I have Bridger who right now is testing me with attitude on a daily basis but who is the sweetest most caring little guy I know. He has a heart that gets bigger and bigger every minuet of the day. Then little Addi…she is sassy and stubborn that sometimes I look at her and see a 16 year old girl. I love her zeal for life. She is strong and tender all in a single moment. I don’t know how she does it but I wouldn’t trade her for anything. The Cooper who just brought Heaven into our home. He carries peace and comfort with him. What an amazing life I get to live at this moment in time!!! If only I could remember all these feelings when I get overwhelmed and frustrated and feel like I am going to go crazy…because nothing is going right today. I definitely have my feel of those days…but as long as I can sit down and ponder about my life and get overwhelmed with emotion because I am so lucky I think I will be okay! An our family will be amazing.

I have written letters to each of my kids when I knew I was pregnant, and after they were born…

Dear Cooper,

I can hardly believe that you are a week old. I feel so incredibly blessed to have you in my life. I love you so much little buddy that some moments of the day I feel like my heart is going to burst. You are perfect. Completely perfect. And its incredible to know that you are mine. That I get the special opportunity to be you mom. How lucky am I that I get to be one of the biggest parts of your life. Cooper I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to be the best mother I can be. I will be strong to show you how much I care. I will be gentle to show you I am understanding. I will love you unconditionally, but teach you the values I hope you want to live. I will try my best everyday to show you that I love you, so you know that you can come to me with anything. I pray that we will have a wonderful relationship always and forever. I pray that everyday without question you will know how much I love you. You will never question where you stand in this world. I wish I could tell you that I would shelter you from all the evils in the world but in order for me to be the best mom I can be you have to be exposed to them and it scares me to death. It scares me to know that someday you will have to make choices that I would rather just make for you. But, in all of that I hope that you will always know that mom is here anytime, anywhere and no matter what.

Cooper, your a miracle to me. I love you so much, and feel so blessed to be you mommy. I pray that I can be the best mom to you. I thank my Heavenly Father for you. What an honor to know that he trust me enough to raise you in this crazy world. I pray that I don’t disappoint. I know that there will be those days when I feel like I have completely failed, or you feel like I am the worst mother ever…but I know that we will be able to get through those together if we remember always that we have each other and Bridger Addisyn, Daddy and our Heavenly Father. We are an Eternal Family. We will Always have each other. I am so grateful you are here in our lives and our hearts. I love you more then I could ever express.

Love Mom

Dec 2, 2009

November 28, 2009…

This was a very fast and eventful day…this is how it all happened! (very long post)

Let me first start on Friday night the 27th. Jason and I were laying on the couch, the kids were in bed and it was just like any night for the last few weeks… full of inconsistent contractions but, tonight some of them were in my back. I warned Jas of the little change due to the fact that with Bridge and Addi I had back labor. He was scheduled to go up to Henrys Lake ice fishing for the day. So I wanted to keep him as informed as possible.

Well we went to bed around 10:30. I didn’t wake up till 4:30 when Jason said “Are you okay, do you think I should still go?” Having had no contractions that night and sleeping all night long I told him “I’m fine go ahead and go, just keep your phone by you just incase…” So he took off, I closed my little eyes again for about 45 min. THEN I woke up went to the bathroom and walked around for a little bit. I was having contractions and they were in my back again. I tried going back to bed a few times BUT that just wasn’t going to happen. After about 45 min of contractions I decided that really was what they were and that they were somewhat consistent and that I should time them. This was all new for me. I was induced with both Bridge and Addi so the whole home contraction thing was unfamiliar territory…

6:15

6:23

6:27

I decided that I better call Jason and let him know what was going on. Thankfully he was only in Ashton. Him and Seth were waiting for another guy that was going to go fishing with them. After only a few minuets we decided that this might be the real thing and that he had probably better not go fishing. So Seth dropped him off and Jason hitch-hiked a little ride to the gas station where Bryce was going to pick him up. I woke the kids up and got them in the car. Gathered the few things that I could remember to gather and we were off…

The plan…Bryce was leaving his house and was going to pick Jason up in Ashton then they were headed my way and when we passed on the road he would take over driving. When Jason was at the gas station there was an office that pulled in for coffee and said he would give him an escort to the hospital, but just then Bryce pulled in. So the officer called in the Durango and Bryce's Jeep and told us to turn on our hazards and drive. That is exactly what we did.

The drive…full of contractions 3 minuets apart…then 2 minuets apart. Jason told me that the car had been called in and I was to drive fast but safe…at least 100 miles per hour most of the way…luckily the roads were wonderful and there was little traffic. I only had to pass about 4 cars the whole drive. I don’t think I have ever made it to Rexburg so quickly.

7:10

7:14

7:17

7:21

7:24

7:27

7:29

7:33

7:35

7:37

7:39

7:42

7:44

7:49

7:51…last one I wrote down and this was when we were registering at the labor and delivery desk!!!

Checked into the hospital. They checked me I was dilated to a 6…What!!! That is crazy. I remember just how long it took for me to get to that point with the others.

Between 8:45-9:00 I was getting my epidural. This was a great relief. My contractions started out very very intense. I never had an epidural that truly worked. I didn’t think this one was going to either. My right side was numb but my left felt like it was taking the contraction pain for both sides. It was a terrible feeling. They were so hard…really probably the worst pain I have ever felt for like 4-6 contractions (really not that long considering how close they were at this point but unless you are feeling the pain you just can’t understand). Then the anesthesiologist moves stuff around and soon I was as numb as could be. That is the weirdest feeling. I never experienced that with Bridger or Addi. My epidurals just didn’t work like this one did.

I realized that this was going very fast and that I had forgot my camera. I was devastated…Jason made a quick call to Chantri and she was there in a few minuets. I was so grateful that she was able to drop everything. I would have just cried and cried if I didn’t have a single picture of this because I forgot my camera.

10:00 My mom and Dad show up to say Hello. We talk about how fast and unbelievable this is… Dad starts talking about going back to work and seeing us around 2:00 or so…

Wait…10:15 having pressure. Told the doctor to check me. Doc says “Let’s have a baby…”

10:18 2 pushes… really only one and a half. The head was out in one and I only needed to give 1/2 a push to help with the shoulders. Then I was holding my miracle in my arms. Looked up at Jason and words just can’t express the feeling and emotions that I always go through. It was a little hectic in the room, but I love to see time stand still if only for a moment when I have my husband by my side and my baby in my arms. Its a miracle that I could never get use to. Then my mom and Chant were able to watch him be born and my dad was just around the curtain. It was great to have them share this miracle with Jas and I.

All of that before noon…I still can’t believe how fast it all happened. I can’t believe that while having contractions 2-3 minuets apart that I was able to drive 100 mph to Rexburg. That I was dilated to a six when I got to the hospital. That I had 5 hours of labor. That he is here. That I can hold him, kiss him, love him, everything him.

The one sad thing about all of this is that Bridger and Addisyn couldn’t come to the hospital to see him. NO ONE 18 and under allowed in the hospital. They were completely devastated that they couldn’t meet little Cooper. They didn’t get to meet him until yesterday December 1, 2009. My mom and Dad took my kids for a few days. I am so so blessed to have such great parents that are willing to do anything and everything for us kids. After seeing Cooper they picked the kids up and headed back to Idaho Falls. They had them Saturday-Tuesday afternoon. Jason and I were able to come home on Sunday with Cooper and just have it be the 3 of us. It was wonderful. I will admit that I missed my kids though.

I am excited to get the pictures from Chant and get started. It is so fun for me to watch them change and grow. Here are some pictures…layouts just might have to wait for a few more days.

His first little Sponge Bath…do babies ever really enjoy this?